Who Are You?
Who are you?
Who are you beyond titles?
Words like "VP", "parent", "sibling", or "partner" are true, sure.
But at the core of your being, who are you?
From a young age, we're taught to identify with external labels. Our position on the basketball team, our leadership role in the math club, the part of town we live in. As we get older, those labels become the university we attend, our major, and our job. For some, titles like "Mom" or "Dad" get added to the mix. We identify with the kind of music we like, the places we go to, the brands we consume, the vacations we take.
We're taught that who we are is an amalgamation of the external factors with which we identify.
It's not that those things aren't true. They do make up some part of us.
They're just limiting. Really limiting.
They create an image of ourselves that's a reflection of our society or culture. We're presented with choices - are you a Republican or Democrat? Are you a Yankee fan or a Mets fan?
If you had asked me who I was when I was in consulting, my response would have been "A consultant." I would have truly struggled to offer anything past that. I was so disconnected from myself, with no idea who I truly was. Nearly two years removed from that role, I look back and see that disconnection as part of the reason I burnt out. I was working so hard at something that was so disconnected from who I was because I hadn't taken the time to sit with myself and ask the question of "Who am I?"
Who we are starts internally. It's not the external stuff we're taught from birth. Who we are is made up of the qualities that make us unique. Our values. Our beliefs.
But we often don't take the time to see ourselves through this lens. Instead, we spend every second of our day fighting boredom, refusing to slow down and spend time getting to know ourselves as human beings. We align our self image with ideas others have created - whether it's a political party, a job description, or a social media trend.
Who we are changes over time. We're all dynamic beings that are constantly interacting with new stimuli, having new experiences, and taking in new information. All of that changes over time. Who I am today is very different than who I was two years ago, and no doubt it's different than who I'll be 10 years from now.
The important thing in understanding who we are isn't getting the answer right. It's about asking the question and taking the time to listen.
It can be scary to get to know ourselves. There are truths to unearth that might challenge our perception of ourselves. It shows us the place within ourselves we should work on. It isn't easy.
But the truth is, it's harder to go through life seeing ourselves through the lens of what society tells us we are than taking the time to understand who we are from the inside out.
It's meaningful.
And it's the work of life.
