Ask For Help
Six months ago, I started feeling the same burnout symptoms I felt two years prior.
The anxiety. The fatigue. The loneliness.
I didn't understand why. Sand and Salt Escapes was entering into a new phase of growth beyond what I could have hoped for. I was doing work that was deeply meaningful that aligns to who I am as a person.
Everything was clicking. But I wasn't well inside.
Learning from my experience with burnout, I knew I needed to set up the support systems that would help me lead the business through this next stage of growth.
The first thing I did was set up an Advisory Board for Sand and Salt Escapes. It was incredibly important to me that the people advising the business had (1) experienced the magic of what we do firsthand and (2) were already proactively engaging in supporting the business, and (3) had expertise in the areas that are most important to the success of the business. I wanted people who think differently, represent a diverse group of guests, and aren't afraid to challenge the status quo. After some deep reflection and consideration, I brought together a group of six amazing past guests - both from our corporate and direct-to-consumer work - to advise the business.
It's been one of the best decisions I've made over the last two years. We meet for 90 minutes every month, tackling different topics that are meaningful for Sand and Salt Escapes. The guidance has been so helpful, but one of the biggest impacts of creating an Advisory Board is that I feel like I'm on less of an island.
The second thing I did was join a mindfulness study group, put together by my good friend and Sand and Salt Escapes Advisory Board member, Sam Malik. Sam and I really got to know each other on our August 2023 retreat. For the last eight years, he's built a B2B marketing agency, Notable. Sam and I talked a lot about the loneliness that can arise as an entrepreneur. It's not something you anticipate when you start your own business, but it can be a very real thing. It's a venture few people have experienced, which makes it tough for a lot of people to understand - through no fault of their own.
When we got back from the retreat, Sam curated a small group of entrepreneurs to join a mindfulness study group. We've been studying and practicing meditation every day, then meeting for two hours each week to continue integrating the practice. The deep, meaningful conversations created space to share things I wouldn't in other settings. And the impact it's had on my own mindfulness practice has been significant.
The third and most important thing I did was start seeing a therapist. During my first session, I shared that I didn’t really know why I was there - just that I needed to be. Through work in understanding neurodiversity, I started connecting the dots between things I thought were disparate experiences in my life, realizing they were all related to the way my brain is wired. Therapy has also helped me understand behavioral patterns, where they come from, and pull back layers to move the subconscious to the conscious. It's totally reframed how I interact with the world and I feel better today than I have in so long.
The challenge in asking for help is we live in a world that tells us to push through and move on. It tells us that being "strong" means enduring and overcoming. We're taught that emotions are distractions and paying attention to them makes us weak.
That mindset can be helpful at times. But it has to be balanced with an ability to slow down, tune in, and ask for help when you need it.
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do isn't to endure.
Instead, it's to ask for help.
